"How not to Metagame" by Stella Grossular

[gross_elegance]

 This is MOST inelegant!

[Stella did what most demons who are too clever by half do--request something from the student council. Of course, despite her specific wishes, it backfired. Horribly.

She requested a place to show off to the school, to where she could be the most elegant and demonic thing ever, so she could get approval to join some non-smut RP or whatnot. The student council stuck her in a room with model buildings, and said she wouldn't be able to escape until she had a kaiju battle.]



Why is it that those idiots always find some way to screw it up, even when I'm so specific! There was no possible way they could have misinterpreted that! I'll see how much they like it when I pull some pranks on them. That'll teach 'em! Hmph!



[She turned her nose up at the mere thought of it. But then again, she was kinda alone. Maybe if she went giant fire lizard and terrorized the 'model city' a little bit, some better prank opportunities would present themselves. No, there was no need to waste mana... the city could use  a bit of graffiti lift!]

Comments

[rose_liberated]

We are waiting. Did you not say you would show off?

[A tormentor, a rival, an evil creature out to make her suffer! It's Rozalin, the one who (might) have done the horrible thing and sent her here. Or it could be one of the other 20 people who voted on that bill.]

[gross_elegance]

Hey, I don't show off on other people's demands! What do you take me for?!

Heh, even if I did, you would never understand the elegance of great graffiti!

[Well, by the time she's done speaking, there is a noticeable amount of graffiti everywhere, most of it being stuff like flowers and crude words in stylistic font.]

[rose_liberated]

...We did not give you this area so you could create a canvas for urban decay and blight. We wanted you to create primary footage for Revenge of Pringer Z: The Pringining. The DVD sales will make us all rich.

You will even receive a share of the royalties. But not if this set remains unsmashed! And you should redo all of that to scale on the models, so as not to make Flonnezilla appear smaller for her big scene!

[gross_elegance]

Not a chance.

[Fancy, noble way of saying "I don't wanna!"]

I worked too hard on that graffiti. High speed pranking is a skill I took 600 years to develop!

And what the hell do *I* have to do with Pringer Z OR Flonnezilla?!

[rose_liberated]

But thou must!

[Ohhh, burn. Thou is a terribly familiar archaic form. Also, a sign you are trapped in a conversation tree you can't say no to.]

You are to play the part of the first-arc monster that has no chance of defeating either the super robot or the terrible atomic-mutant angel.

Needless to say, you are expected to play the part with dignity, grace, and no lines.

[gross_elegance]

[Stella recognizes that. She is seething because of it.]

No lines! I refuse to play without lines! I'll be a laughingstock if I just get cleaned out like that!

[rose_liberated]

And will you be any less of a laughingstock when your lines are all 'Roar' and 'Monster screaches'? Come now, it's not that bad.

[gross_elegance]

Nuh uh! Roars in monster form should bring chills down the audience's spine! Especially since I am giant *and* elegant!

[rose_liberated]

Oh? I do not know if you have it in you to give a proper roar. But if you think you can, by all means, let us see it.

[gross_elegance]

Grrrr...!

[She doesn't want to get shown up! Sword drawn, runes spawn underneath her, swirling to life as Stella herself seems to be consumed by flames.

A terrible flame monster emerges, breathing fire that scorches the landscape--anything nearby is practically melted.]

[rose_liberated]

Is that what you call a roar? A monstrous rampage? Come now, cut loose and show me how you REALLY feel.

[Does she even notice the prinnies with the camera rolling over there?]

[gross_elegance]

[Considering she is now a giant monster that causes her just a little bit of angst, she is surprisingly easy to manipulate... to a point.

It does shriek, but right now it's more concerned in snapping buildings in two with a single flame bite, and breathing more super-melting fire. Lots of it.

She does kind of raze the city to the ground in moments, though. Only to realize what she's done.]

My... my beautiful graffiti!

[rose_liberated]

...we'll take five to rebuild the city. You did well, perhaps too well. So let's do lunch.

[gross_elegance]

Guh.

[The flames flare up and giant-Axolotl-chan disappears, leaving Stella in their place.]

It better be good.

[rose_liberated]

It ought to be-the catering for this whole affair is ruinous. Even by my standards.

[A fine spread of sushi and finger-sandwiches await! Or perhaps they would prefer a salad or a smoothie?]

[gross_elegance]

[Stella will gun for the smoothie first. It looks the most elegant.]

Tell me about it. I haven't seen catering this oversold in years!

Now the colored vegetables in my youth... that was fine dining...

[rose_liberated]

Colored vegetables? Did they have those little roses made from tomatoes as well?Or perhaps some ice sculpture? Oh, I believe they will be making a scuplture out of sugar for the wrap party when filming is finished. You must stay for that.

[gross_elegance]

Oh, that sounds great! I have seen elegant sculptures in my time, but they can't hold a candle to the smaller, simplistic ones.

[rose_liberated]

The simple things in life are seldom worthless, but they are not always worthy of praise. It is one of those things there is no great rule about I'm sorry to say.

How about some of this terrine? It's got eggplant and zucchini in it.

[im_gonna_heal_u]

I figured out why you're playing pranks!

[gross_elegance]

That's because you're bad at this right?

[im_gonna_heal_u]

Not as bad as you are at being honest with your friends~